I wanted to remind him how deeply I’d loved him, how I’d imagined growing old together, and how I’d entered the church Saturday believing I was marrying my closest friend.
Nothing about those feelings was cold.
But I was exhausted from explaining my emotions to someone who used them to challenge my decisions.
Around noon, Heather called.
I hesitated before answering, thinking about her children.
“Hi,” I said.
“I’m sorry to bother you.”
“It’s okay.”
“I wanted you to know I’m trying to figure things out.”
A child spoke in the background.
Heather asked Ben to wait.
“I called Colin last night,” she said. “He said his schedule is full this week, but I’m asking him to see what he can move.”
“Good.”
“I also left a message with my supervisor.”
I thought for a moment.
“Heather, have you checked the county’s childcare resource-and-referral service? They might be able to tell you which licensed providers have openings.”
