PART 5
And here is the part about my father, which I did not understand until I was thirty-one and lying under a bed.
For thirty years he has let people get his job wrong.
He says engineer. He lets them picture a man in a van. He does not correct them at parties, at parents’ evenings, or at his own brother-in-law’s sixtieth.
And he has told me since I was about nine that being underestimated is an advantage and that you should never give it away for free.
He is proud of it. It is the closest thing our family has to a philosophy.
So I grew up extremely good at being underestimated. I am better at it than almost anybody I know.
And completely unable to tell the difference between somebody getting me wrong by accident, and somebody doing it on purpose, with a plan, over two years.
I had a lifetime of practice at the first one.
I had none at all at the second, because in our house being underestimated was always the safe position. It was never the thing that was about to cost you an apartment.
That is not my father’s fault and he has taken it as though it were, which has been the hardest conversation of the last year.
