The first was from the Christmas after the funeral. Ray’s voice was gruff and awkward. “Hey, Jen. Merry Christmas. Just wanted to say we’re thinking about you. The guys did the song at the party. Didn’t sound right without him. Anyway. Call if you need anything.”
The second was Caleb’s tenth birthday. “Tell the kid happy birthday from his Uncle Ray. Tell him I’ve still got the glove.”
The fourth was the first anniversary. That one was just Ray breathing for a few seconds, and then saying, “I miss him, Jen. I don’t know who else to say that to.” And then he hung up.
I sat on my bed and listened to three years of a man trying to reach us through a door I’d locked from the inside.
The last one was from two weeks ago.
“Jen. It’s Ray. Listen, Caleb called me. He’s okay, nothing’s wrong. But he asked me to come to his school thing on the thirteenth. He asked me not to tell you, but I’m not going to do that to you. I think you should know. And I think… I think you should let him do this. I think David would want him to. Call me back. Please.”
