I came home eleven months early without telling anyone and found my wife sitting against a wall with her head shaved and her face bruised, while my mother shouted at me to throw her out. I didn't argue. I looked at what had actually been broken in that room, and then I asked my wife for the notebook.

I want to be honest that I made her. I did not force her and I did not shout, but I sat in a car park in Verrick with my wife and did not start the engine until she said all right, and she was frightened and exhausted and I used the fact that she has never been able to say no to me.

I have thought about that a great deal. It is the only thing I did in those three days that I am not sure about, and it is also the reason any of the rest of it stood up.

I have said so to her. She says I was right and she would not have gone otherwise.

I still do not know what to do with the fact that both of those are true.

I want to say something about that notebook, because people hear about it and think my wife was being clever.